Only in America. Free Lunch on Wall Street — Real Lunch

Every now and then we just have to depart from our main subject of eminent domain and land use, to comment on some timely topic of broader interest. So here goes.

Old timers may remember that way back when hippies gathered at Woodstock, feeding them eventually got to be a problem — things got pretty grim on the gastronomic front, with the National Guard having to bring in food. But that was then — this is now.

Today’s New York Times brings the upbeat dispatch that the radical class warriors who are “occupying Wall Street” in New York are eating right well, and gaining weight. Jeff Gordinier, Want to Get Fat on Wall Street? Try Protesting, N.Y. Times, October 12, 2011, at p. D1. One of the “occupiers” is quoted by the Times, “I’ve been here for 12 days, and I’ve put on 5 pounds.” Way to go, man. If you’re gonna wage war, you may as well do it on a full stomach, just as Napoleon prescribed. And none of those military rations for these warriors. No, sir! The goodies have come from pizza joints and delis like manna from heaven. To say nothing of bags of fresh cookies delivered for dessert. One of the Wall Street class warriors is quoted as saying “We don’t know where it comes from. It just appears, and we eat it.” Voila! Free lunch.

The local restaurateurs who receive these food orders and deliver them, aver that they have been getting orders from Germany, France, England, Italy and Greece . . .” A veritable Marshall Plan in reverse, as it were.

But who is the champion when it comes to providing the free lunch? California, of course. A local pizza shop owner says that he has been getting orders from all over, but numero uno is — who else? — California. Quoth the pizza man, “The phones don’t stop ringing. People from California order the most at one time. Someone from the West Coast had called in the biggest delivery: he wanted 50 pizzas dispatched to the park.” So do we Californians know how to live, or what? After all, our state motto is Bring me men to match my mountains. We are however, also a state who knows how fitness works, we have outdoor gyms, beach bodies and sports such as beginner tennis lessons available for anyone and everyone to get fit. What’s a few slices of pizza between friends eh?

Alas, we have competition. It says here that Katz’s Deli on Houston Street (which in new York is pronounced House-ton) “has sent pastrami, brisket, corned beef and turkey sandwiches, as well as heaps of pickles, potato salad and coleslaw.” But there is a snake in this gastronomic paradise: “The potato latkes don’t travel well because there’s no way to heat them up again.'” Quel malheur!

All that’s missing here is a featured event consisting of Michele Obama delivering a rousing speech on the evils of obesity. But stick around — we are sure it will come.

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